A lack of purpose causes lack of passion...

A lack of purpose causes a lack of passion. 
Passion is what energizes your spirit and purpose gives you personal meaning.  
Purpose gives you the drive to keep going, no matter the challenge. 
My purpose for the past two decades was not really a choice but a requirement - SURVIVAL along with caring for a minor child.  I get such a kick out of this new batch of kids... many of whom I employ and some of whom I mentor.  They say things like, "I just don't feel inspired." or "I'm not passionate about that, therefore, I have to find something I'm passionate about to commit." Or my personal favorite.... "I need to feel appreciated."
WTF? I've gotten used to it now, but the first time I heard these phrases, I was in complete disbelief - Passion? Inspiration? Appreciation?  You're joking right?  Like do we live in the same world? Is that even a thing?  
I'm having breakfast with my son a few days ago and he mentions to me that 'He's not going to go online and fill out a bunch of 'random' applications.... He doesn't have time for that.'  I nearly choked on my soda water and said, 'Son, you know my job at the City? Well, I got in line at 5am waiting for them to open at 8am to give out applications for the first 100 applicants, at which point after I was fortunate enough to be 1 of the first 100....  I had to take a written test, score in the top 10%, and go through two panel interviews to get the job.'

Do I sound like that tale of walking to school in the snow uphill both ways? LOL
.... And you're over here talking about 'You don't see the value of completing online applications without a promising lead?'  

Well Thank God I did something right as a parent.... You sure do think highly of     yourself !   *blank stare* 

But seriously.... for my 40 and over crowd...... who are these people? My God!  I sound like the generation before us complaining about our generation - 

And you know what?  I don't think I'm equipped to even relate to or understand our youth... 

Hell, I'm trying to understand and create what my next move(s) should be for the second half of my life - 

I'm not gonna lie... I'm going through a crazy empty nest syndrome - 
My anxiety was so high to make it to this point.... I psyched myself out to get through the stages of childhood, adolescence, braces, high school - without much joy or nostalgia ... more like checking boxes along the way.... and now here we are - 20 days away from 18.  WE DID IT!  We crossed that finish line!  But what's next?

The original plan morphed several times.... I'm exhausted.... frazzled.... relieved that we made it this far... 

I replay the moment 18 years ago when I had a talk with myself about what I had to do, what was expected, a play by play scenario with milestones - 

And here I am.... a brand new season.... and I can't figure out the strategy!  This is so unlike me - I ALWAYS have the answer.... or at least the adrenaline to fly by the seat of my pants.  That's it!  I had the adrenaline - fueled by FEAR and DESPERATION.

But that accelerant is gone.... what is going to fuel my passion now? 
What accelerant is as strong as fear and desperation?

That my friends is where I am at today - 
I've never been without a clear plan  - #searchingformynewpurpose 


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