From Doormat to Dreamgirl....

I'm pretty self-aware.... the sad part is, I am slow to change in a few areas of my life.  I don't know if it's because I'm a Cancer, an Enabler, or if it's because I HATE conflict.... As I wrote my last post, it reminded me how for so many years I have been in a constant state of insanity (doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result).

In business... that is a no no!  Course Correction..... Immediate Course Correction is necessary to stay alive in this game of life - and when you have a team that just refuses to listen to logic.... OMG.... It's so frustrating.

I'm not good at many things... God gave me a few very specific gifts in certain areas where I am able to excel and shine.  I also DO NOT GET PAID TO GUESS.  So when I am making a proposal in business... trust and believe I have done my due diligence and have researched it through every lens I can possibly think of, have a power point, a few spreadsheets sorted any which way you'd like to see it, and exhibits A - Z to illustrate the logic and validity of my findings.

So when I go to all that trouble... and please note: My self worth is HEAVILY tied to my work - and it gets dismissed without even a discussion.... I wanted to kill myself.  Nothing frustrates me more than knowing the answer and doing the exact opposite. Especially when it affects the bottom line.

This has happened to me at school during team projects, in business, and even in my personal life. It's taken me all of this time, horrible worry lines in my forehead that botox can't even knock out, gray hairs, and bags of sour patch kids (emotional eating - my colleagues keep them in their desks when they see a meltdown coming on) to finally take action!  I am tired of being a doormat!  I am tired of being irrational because I don't demand respect or accountability from ANYONE! I allow so many excuses... so many broken promises... it's just a shame.

So, recently I said to myself, "Self ! You have to find a solution for your own sanity! There is no reason why you should be running in circles and everyone around you is looking at you like you're the lunatic.  You either go from complete maniac or completely silent ... no in between, no effective communication... and it's YOUR FAULT AMBER!"

I have found two amazing tools that I am applying in an effort to solve this problem:

I'm applying techniques from my new read - Crucial Accountability - Tools for resolving violated expectations, broken commitments, and bad behavior -

And... I have a fancy scanner - All of my colleagues cringe when they see my emails LOL - So now I scan, highlight, use arrows to illustrate, and send reminders... like... HELLO - sent this 10 days ago - still pending... HELP :) <3 xoxo


Please know - we are all human and things certainly fall through the cracks. I'm sure many of you reading this have received an apology from myself when I forget to process some of your requests.

 I am incredibly fortunate to have a team that supports me and more importantly FORGIVES me.

I'll keep you posted on my progress and consistency in developing a new and improved Amber who is stable and sets boundaries LOL - Apparently you CAN teach an old dog new tricks ....

~Clear and consistent communication can work magic in an organization... but only if leaders have the courage and skills to set clear expectations and hold all individuals accountable ~